One thing what I remember about the crash in Kazan:

The value of life

Thick mist covers the lights of an enormous city, bright symbols of universiade and marvelous building of science. I hear only distant voices of affected people who are with me in this crowd and can’t understand how it could have happened.

My friends and I were walking on a bridge Millenium. The weather was terrible, but we did not pay attention to it because we were guests of this ancient town only for 4 days. The strong cold wind forced us to go as quickly as we could. Sometimes it was difficult to inhale fresh icy air as the throat started burning. Rain was hitting in the face and snow was falling heavily. We stopped only for a moment to enjoy the view of an illuminated huge ground of the airport. It was almost dark, the tragedy influenced the whole country was a bolt from the blue. I couldn’t believe that only a few minutes ago the plane from Moscow had crashed, no passengers survived. I looked at the deserted airport.   

It is the only image I remember from this terrible day of November 17^th. Now I am in a big crowd in the central part of Kazan, near the main university, who was going to celebrate its birthday on the 18^th of November. Instead of this, teachers, scientists, students and a lot of guests from different parts of the world are standing together with tears on their faces. I hanged my head down and stared at the grey ground under my feet. I don’t feel the sun overhead because it is dark, misty and vague in an enormous silent town. Everyone wants to scream as loud as he can, but no one has a right to do it. I feel my friends lost in their own thoughts like me. I see a big car with medicine, food and other supplies for victims of the Khabarovsk Krai and understand how strong and brave these people are.  They do not forget about others in their own national tragedy. I am proud of them. I lift up my eyes to white doves - souls of the dead people. All concerts, comedies and smiles are banned because of this tragedy. The bright posters in the concert hall have become dark grey. 

Some of these people with exhausted faces lost their families. The president of Kazan lost his son, a reporter – his wife and a little daughter, a young beautiful girl with red of tears eyes – her parents. It is scary to realize that you are alone in this big cruel world, and nobody’s regrets can alleviate your agony. The words of the dean of Kazan Federal University go over our heads. The eyes say more in this situation than words and actions. In this special moment I understand that people are much happier when they are together in happiness, and it is much more painful when every person in a crowd feels hurt.

Only in these moments we feel how much we can lose without taking it back. When we go somewhere, we often forget to say our close people good-bye. It is frightful to look at dead eyes and remember happy moments with a person who was alive only 3 days ago. It is hard to come to a coffin and say good-bye forever.

Why do we tend to speak of our love when it is late? At the funeral lunch we speak good of the person although we criticized his behavior and temper in his lifetime. We do not value what we have, but when we lose it, we cry. It is a paradox of our life.

Remember a talented actor Vladislav Galkin. The man was badgered, worried and tortured because of his lifestyle (he was drinking) through his life but after his death people started praising his dramatic talent and sometimes exaggerated his accomplishments. After a month admirers of his boundless talent had forgotten about their idol and found another actor for ardent admiration.

The same happens all our life proving the truth that no man is indispensable. Every person has his own destiny and special way of life. But we have something what makes us similar - we fight to the last drop of our blood for happiness of our relatives and ourselves. Unfortunately, they often don’t know about our love although everyone has a right to know about feelings and emotions of his close people. We shouldn’t forget to say them good-bye with a kiss and a warm hug because every meeting can become the last.  

My friends and I are returning to Universiade village (which is a residential neighborhood constructed in Kazan to house athletes and officials for the 27^th Summer Universiade 2013) together, but not a word is spoken. Several minutes of gloomy silence follows. A terrible picture does not leave my head. If we were in the airport at the moment when it had happened, could we go together now? In a second we casted a brief glance at each other to persuade that we are all here. We sigh with relief. We start valuing each other’s lives and following every person in our small dancing group.

A mobile in hand, I punch in the necessary number. I am calling my mother.

-Hello, dear! How are you? I haven’t heard you for ages! – said my mother with big care.

-Hi! Mum, I love you! – I answered in a shaky voice. It is the only thing I can say  at that moment.